Thoughts...

Having a new baby is sure a new adjustment! I love baby grahm more that words can even describe, But along with that love are many trials!
- I now know how hard it is to go ANYWHERE, I have to time when to feed him so that he wont be hungry while we are gone.. make sure we have diapers, wipes, burp clothes , etc. packed in the diaper bag.
- Sleeping is gone, Between Josh and I we are up almost every few hours to feed or change diapers or entertain.
- I miss Josh, Even though he is here all the time I miss watching movies or cooking dinner, Now one of us is always watching the baby while the other is sleeping, cooking, or cleaning.
- Breast feeding, It has been such a trial for me, From him to latching on to loosing my milk. I know have to start using formula which is harder for grahm and makes me feel like a failure. It has been the most discouraging thing for me.
- Baby Blues.. Having your life change so much in one day is not easy especially when your hormones are crazy. Each day just thinking of breast feeding, or the messy house brings me to tears, The smallest things make me cry.. I cant wait til i Feel normal again.

The other day, while feeling all these emotions I called my mom.. She shared with me a message she had in church on mothers day, About how as mothers god wont give us anything we cant handle, and when it gets to much he will send down angels to help. I believe this, after a very hard week and a half yesterday was the best day I have had since having grahm.. My love for him is so strong and I would gladly take all the trials for him!
Also after praying for help I went to the mailbox and pulled out the general conference ensign, I remember a talk I had heard from Elder Lynn G Robbins. He said

"A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?

I loved this, I know that I need grahm as much as he needs me! He has such a sweet spirit and whenever i look at him I see a beautiful child of god! I am so thankful for the gospel, and for the lord knowing what I need!

Thankful!

I had to do a post of things I am so thankful for from this past week:

My family: Both of our families came down on Monday and were there for the Labor, Josh's mom and sister made a bunch of cute blankets for us. My sister Sarah and Brother in-law were there to support us and it was so nice to have them there. A Big thank you to my mother who stayed the whole day and helped out so much with the labor!

My Ward: We got a call after Grahm was born from the Relief Society letting us know they would be bringing meals to us, Also when Grahm went to the NICU our bishop and home teacher came to help give Grahm a blessing!

My Brother: When i found out that grahm was going to the NICU I didnt take it very well, I called my parents and they told me they would drive down. When we left the NICU and went out to the waiting room, my brother who works in ogden was sitting there waiting. It was especially nice to see him cause he had a son in the NICU and just seeing him sitting there brought me to tears, It is so nice to know I have a great family who will take the time to just to stop by.

My husband: I couldn't imagine anyone better to help me raise Grahm. He has been so paitent with my and my emotions and with Grahm. He was the strong one in the hospital and has been such a help at home! I am truly grateful for josh and all his amazing qualities!

Grahm: He is such a trooper, He has been such a good baby and I am so thankful for a safe delivery and for such a cute little boy! I cant wait for all the amazing memories we will create!

My heavenly father: When grahm got sent to the NICU there were a lot of prayers sent out for him, I love the feeling you get when you pray and feel comfort. I am so thankful that he has chosen me to raise this amazing boy and am so thankful for the gospel and knowing that we will be a family forever!

Thank you for all your support and prayers! I am thankful to have such amazing friends and family members!

Grahm Zeke Armstrong

On monday morning Josh and I woke up early to head to the hospital to be induced. We got to the hospital at 7:00 am and by 7:30 had all my medications and was started. The day went good, I had to get my epidural early because someone was giving birth to triplets and the anesthesiologist had to be in their room for while. At 10:58 P.M. Grahm was born! He was 7 Lbs 6 Oz and 9 1/2 in long. We were very surprised and excited that he had some hair.
They told us we would be able to go home Wednesday evening and couldn't wait to have him home with us, However that morning the doctor let us know that he had jaundice and needed to be under lights, While under the lights they noticed that his breathing was off and had to do chest x-rays. The x-rays showed he had a small hole in his lungs and had to be sent to the NICU. The doctors informed us that this will usually heal itself, My parents, bishop and home teacher came to the hospital and gave him a blessing. Within 24 hours grahm was doing great and was discharged! We are so glad to be home and Love your little bundle of joy!